Random Reason Why Sugarbear and I Were Made for Each Other...

...because we both still giggle like middle schoolers when someone uses the word 'duty' in a sentence... and then we look at one another to see if the other one is laughing too...

"Wait"

Wait
by Russell Kelfer


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."


"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.


"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.


"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."


Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"


He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.


"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.


"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.


"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.


"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.


"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.


"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is an important day for us. I adore my OB/GYN.... I adore him and his nurse...I am comfortable with them, I trust them. But,tomorrow we have our first consultation with a fertility specialist. We have reached the end of the treatment that my regular OB can provide (as good as it was), and are entering the scary world of "ARTS". I have lots of thoughts in my head at the moment, mainly centered around my absolute anxiety about going to the doctor in general. I am a college-educated, rational adult...but I hate going to the doctor, as in, avoid it like the plague. (why else do you think it took me three years to pursue this?) Yet, I've been to the doctor more in the last few months than I think I've been the rest of my life. God invented irony, you know. I am anxious to have to explain myself to another person, and anxious about being judged, and anxious about being rejected, and anxious about being a punchline, and anxious that the nurses will make fun of my shoes... I have never claimed to be normal, btw. It symbolizes a whole new set of people that are going to know more about my reproductive organs than I do... and that bothers me. It's also another rung up the infertility ladder... and I haven't yet decided how high I actually want to climb. And so on, and so forth... so, I'm praying for a good experience, a compassionate doctor, and as few more tests as possible... basically, I know what I want to happen procedure-wise, and I want my new doctor to agree...and just do it. Not to much to ask, right?:-)

If anyone has any wisdom to share... feel free!

Late for work, But this needed posting...

So, I've mentioned before that the Dachshund is officially not allowed on the bed. (mainly because we have a very high bed, and a Dachshund is prone to slipped disks and other back injuries, and we don't like her to jump down... especially since her jumps off the bed resemble flying Underdog-type leaps, cause apparently she thinks she's a superhero...) Anyways.

We've already established that I'm a sucker when it comes to the Dachshund, carrying her for walks, letting her in the bed when she begs, etc. Last night was no exception. She comes whining to my side of the bed, and jumping up and down (never to Sugarbear's side... I wonder why...). I, of course, let her up. She goes to the foot of the bed as normal, and snuggles down for the rest of the night.

So, this morning, I get up, get ready for work. As usual, the Chica dog gets up with me and follows me around, while the Ginger Dachshund stays in bed with Sugarbear. I am going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I come upon this scene in the bed...

Ginger has now climbed up to 'my spot', is laying on her back,feet in the air, under the covers, blissfully snoring WITH HER HEAD ON MY PILLOW, snuggled up beside Sugarbear....

I have lost control of my Dachshund, people.