Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is an important day for us. I adore my OB/GYN.... I adore him and his nurse...I am comfortable with them, I trust them. But,tomorrow we have our first consultation with a fertility specialist. We have reached the end of the treatment that my regular OB can provide (as good as it was), and are entering the scary world of "ARTS". I have lots of thoughts in my head at the moment, mainly centered around my absolute anxiety about going to the doctor in general. I am a college-educated, rational adult...but I hate going to the doctor, as in, avoid it like the plague. (why else do you think it took me three years to pursue this?) Yet, I've been to the doctor more in the last few months than I think I've been the rest of my life. God invented irony, you know. I am anxious to have to explain myself to another person, and anxious about being judged, and anxious about being rejected, and anxious about being a punchline, and anxious that the nurses will make fun of my shoes... I have never claimed to be normal, btw. It symbolizes a whole new set of people that are going to know more about my reproductive organs than I do... and that bothers me. It's also another rung up the infertility ladder... and I haven't yet decided how high I actually want to climb. And so on, and so forth... so, I'm praying for a good experience, a compassionate doctor, and as few more tests as possible... basically, I know what I want to happen procedure-wise, and I want my new doctor to agree...and just do it. Not to much to ask, right?:-)

If anyone has any wisdom to share... feel free!